I am not feeling it. I met a new man who saw me on Match and strung together a multi-lingual invite to coax me into a meeting. I like words. I am turned on by them. I like when a man can be literarily romantic without really knowing that he is. I like the certainty of words behind which lies an uncertainty about how it will all go down with its target. More the uncertainty, greater the certainty of expression. So I agreed to meet this new man for a drink five emails in a night after. I was leaving for Austin in two days so a drink would not be a make or break. It was just a drink. I had no expectations. His picture wasn't bad though I suspected it was an older one, a younger one. I expected an older man. How old I would know at our meeting. I chose an Enoteca on 69th and Broadway. It was a place to get   a drink without necessarily having dinner. It was a first meeting place, a place to assess a possibility. So I dressed up nice. A ruby red lipstick matched perfectly my checkered red tunic. I was more than presentable. Not hot or sexy--no cleavage for god's sake. No. THAT was not me on a first meeting. I know men are visual but I need to be attracted to a man for me to assuage his visual needs. This was not a date and not a man I was attracted to in any measure by just a photograph. The oomph factor is directly proportional to desire. Greater the desire, more intense the factor. That usually takes time. Though I have to admit I up my factor when I meet either of my exes--just to make them feel shit for not keeping me. I can be devious like any man or woman or child. Sure enough I was the first one to reach the Enoteca. I usually am the more punctual one. Maybe I need to work on being fashionably late as they say. Given his eagerness to see me, I assumed he was having trouble finding the place, hence the lateness. So I called him and sure enough he was standing at the corner of 69th looking for the place. My heart thumped as I waited to get his first glimpse. I saw him through the glass and yes, he looked older than his picture. Confirmation one. I did feel a small disappointment. But I know better than to make snap judgements. Faces do not generally make for a bad or good connection between people. Anyway, I was here and I am not rude so I put on my best smile (which he said he adored!) and welcomed him. He was a little shy but not tongue tied. I did have a good evening over a glass of some house wine. It was the usual first meeting where you are trying to create better impressions and adding snippets of you to the flow of the conversations. So you kind of know just a little more about this stranger but not enough. You don't know whether he has a temper or a sexually transmitted disease. You don't know how much he might have hurt someone in a relationship he has walked away from. You don't know whether he has kids. You don't know whether he hates or loves his mother. You don't know whether he really has a good job or he is being fired the very day you are meeting him. You don't know whether he is good or bad at intimacy. You don't know (but would love to know) if he can shake your world with his tongue, especially if the last one did in the most magnificent way possible. I was looking for a better version of my previous ex---the generous gift-giver with a generous lover. I didn't know if he would be both or whether my luck included such a creature of a man. So I walked away at the end of the evening knowing that I wouldn't be the one calling. He emailed me about how much he enjoyed the evening and wanted to see me again. I ignored it. I left for Austin. One week later, he texted me. He hoped that maybe I had missed the email and a text would certainly catch my attention. I knew now that he liked me enough to wait and try again. I replied. He again expressed how much he wants to see me again. I like a little desperation in a  man. This means he is physically reacting to me. This means he is attracted to me. I can find that attractive, yes. I like a man to want to take over and be the man for a woman he wants. So when I go back to NYC in the next week, I will meet him again to sort out the first impressions and creative imaginations (I might be imagining him more favorably in my mind which may be bad for it will lead to a final disappointment in the second meeting). Anyway, I am ready for a second meeting--just to see how soon we run out of conversation or not. You have got to stay tuned for this one!!!!!!!